"Guess what Audrey's gonna do? She's gonna throw up!"
Fortunately it appears that she made a minor sayo[1] - she really meant "eat this piece of chicken", and for whatever reason she accidentally said "throw up" instead. Go figure. She then proceeded to take a fork from the table, hide it behind her back and say "Who's comin' out of my belly? A baby, or a fork?" Fortunately, it was neither.
Her quotes tonight were mighty helpful for lightening the mood, since I had spent the day at home with Jared, instead of at work. Why is that? Well that would be because school called us at 10am to tell us that Jared bit another kid in his class and - get this - drew blood. Apparently this wasn't the kind of thing where he bit the kid and then whipped out a sketchbook and a red crayon and showed everyone what blood looks like - but it was the kind that used to be inside the other kid's finger but was now oozing out of the wound created by my calm, quiet, peaceful, innocent 5 year old.
So when school called to tell us about this, I had to go pick him up. I then took him home and sold him to the gypsies - but it worked out OK, I got a great deal.
Later in the evening, he worked off some more aggression with Audrey as they were having a screamingly good time jumping around together on our couch, and they shared this exchange of brotherly-sisterly love:
Jared: "Can I jump on your face?"
Audrey: "No!!" <turns to me> "He want jump on my face!!" <turns back to Jared> "Please can you not do dat?"
Please, indeed.
[1] It's like a typo, but you say it.[2]
[2] Oh come on, like you've never done it?
It is fairly mortifying to get the phone call about how your child hurt someone else--I got one earlier this year about how my son (also 5) had left fingermarks on another child's arm, because he grabbed her so hard. But it seems odd to me that they would make you take him out of school for the day.
I mean, I understand there are zero-tolerance policies about school violence in middle and high-schools, but for kindergarteners?
Posted by: landismom | October 25, 2008 at 06:18 PM
You had to pick him up? Seriously? So many comments running through my head, but I'm trying to not offend. Seriously?
Posted by: kristin | October 28, 2008 at 07:05 AM