Cynical Mom

Two under the age of four

I remember learning this brain teaser when I was a kid... you have a fox, a chicken, and some chicken feed on one side of a river. All three of them need to get to the other side of the river. You have one raft, but the raft can only fit two of the three at any given time. If you leave the fox and chicken alone on either side of the river, the fox will eat the chicken. If you leave the chicken and the feed alone, the chicken will eat the feed. So how do you get all three of them across?

Or the other set of brain teasers I used to do, like there are three people and three meals and each meal belongs to one person and each person has a certain color shirt on. Then you're given statements like "Bob doesn't like veal" and "The person who likes chicken doesn't wear a yellow shirt" and you have to puzzle it out to match people to food to shirts.[1]

I bring this up because when I am alone with my two kids, I feel like I'm playing out a live version of these puzzles in my head. Jared only wants to play with me or do whatever I'm doing. Audrey only wants to play with Jared or do what Jared's doing, however her version of 'play' is to destroy whatever he's building and giggle. Jared does not want to play with Audrey or do whatever she is doing.

So what this means is that when I am alone with the kids, nobody is happy. I can't keep Jared happy because I have to make sure Audrey doesn't destroy his stuff (tears and a mournful "she ALWAYS destroys EVERYTHING I do!" are a common refrain these days). I can't keep Audrey happy because all I'm doing is running interference between her and Jared. I can't keep myself happy because, well, nobody's happy.

It's not all bad. Sometimes there are moments of pure delight, like when I am about to take Audrey to bed and I carry her over to Jared for a hug and a kiss, and her face just lights up and he giggles and kisses her. Plus, it can't be nearly as hard as my neighbor who has twin boys who are Audrey's age as well as a daughter who's Jared's age. Yet somehow, neither of these facts make it any more bearable when I am stuck in the middle between the two of them in the neverending tug of war.

[1] I had workbooks that had dozens of these puzzles in them, and I used to do them for fun. I was such a dork.

The best day of my life

Yesterday was the best day of my life. It just took me a while to realize it.

At noon, I was scheduled to have lunch with a bunch of people, most of whom I'd never met. I showed up at the right place/time and didn't see the one person I did know. Flashback to kickball in gradeschool, getting picked last... I found another guy who looked lost, turned out he was looking for the same group, so we had lunch together. It worked out OK.

Around 4pm, it started hailing like mad, so I decided to leave and get the kids from daycare early. I leave the house, turn up this mild hill... and lose all traction. I spend a terrifying 10 minutes inching up the hill while stupid drivers zoom around me. Traffic is insane.

I get to a light, I'm waiting to turn left. One car turns left in each turn of the light. The snow is falling so hard that in the time that passes during each revolution of the light, I am unable to move the car forward. So I am inching it forward every 30 seconds just to make sure I can still move. People who were in the lane to go straight see how bad it is on the other side of the road, and they cut in front of me to turn left - one car per light, three people do this.

Thirty minutes later, I've moved 1/4 mile in traffic, and saw the first person (of many that night) abandon their car. I decide to turn into the building garage at the next light (another 15 minutes passes before I am able to actually park). The garage has multiple underground levels and I can see the cars stacked up to at least the end of the second level. I warn several people to just park and walk or stay at work, they all thank me for my advice but continue to sit in that mess.

I get out of the car with my jacket, my kids' jackets, and a blanket. I call my husband and he leaves home from work (we're within walking distance, thank god) to dress in ski gear and get the double stroller. We both make the five mile trek to daycare, watching many more cars get abandoned along the way.

Arrive at 6:30ish, after having started walking around 5:15... pick up the kids, bundle them up, and then turn around and trudge back. On our way back, see a bus on the highway that's had an accident. The bus driver waves at us morosely. Snow is still falling heavy and fast and it coats the stroller, a blanket of white on top of the blanket covering Jared's knees. "I'm cold, mommy" - I put my gloves on his hands, we didn't have any for him.

8:30 PM, we arrive home. Open the garage, Jared says: "How come there's no cars in the garage?". Then: "I was a good boy. I didn't scream or yell." Yes, you were.

We are so lucky.

The best day of my life.

Why is that?

Between lunch and our evening adventure, I was at the funeral for a 6 week old baby.

So who gives a @*#$@#$ that it took me four hours of walking up and down icy hills to get my children home?

If you have a child, go hug them right now.

Two friends of mine just lost their two month old baby boy to Spinal Muscular Atrophy last night. They only found out he had the illness a couple of weeks ago.

Nobody should have to go through this.

Two months old...