I am an elbowfeeding activist

Blogging Baby posted last month about a woman breastfeeding her eight year old. What's most interesting to me isn't the actual content, but the comments on BB, specifically the "Sick", "Wrong" and "Freakshow"-type comments.

I keep thinking "Yep, pretty grody... but why are people freaking out about this?" Both the mom and the kid want it. It is not physically harming anyone. You could argue emotional harm, but that's pretty much par for the parenting course (and really, let's be honest - part of being a parent is about emotionally harming our kids, just not in the same way in which our parents harmed us).

What it really comes down to is that we can't let go of the breast as a sexual object. As a society, we're starting to move back to breasts being OK for feeding... up to a certain arbitrary point.

To put it another way, if it was elbowfeeding instead of breastfeeding, would anyone get this up in arms about a mother who elbowfed her eight year old? The idea of breastfeeding an eight year old is totally squicky to me... but let's take that time and energy spent ranting at this woman to ranting about child abuse and domestic violence.

Comments

[Karen]

There's that famous quote, which I went looking for because I couldn't exactly remember the wording, and discovered that the quote is famous because it's attributed to Voltaire but he never actually wrote it...instead it appeared in a book ABOUT him, the author summarizing his point of view in saying:
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"

To me, it's not about disapproval/disagreement. I don't give a yaya, you do what you want/need to in your family and I'll do what's appropriate in mine. I was SOOOOO much more judgemental before having kids. LOL Don't get me wrong, I'm still judgemental (I can't believe how bratty her kid is! Mine is way better behaved/smarter/neater/quieter/insert your adjective here) But I think I have learned a lot more about the kinds of pressures you can be under as a parent, and how each child and their uniqueness causes you to make parenting decisions you wouldn't necessarily have anticipated. Sure, I figured I'd nurse for a year. John always joked that if they got old enough to ask for it, they were too old. NOT MY FAULT THE DAMN KIDS LEARNED THE SIGN FOR NURSING BEFORE THEIR FIRST BIRTHDAY! Goal-directed learning. Clearly nursing filled a need in my child's life that was as or more important than most other needs, since they worked their little fists in a pumping motion to indicate their desire to nurse before they could utter an intelligible syllable.

I think with a lot of things in parenting, until you've walked a mile...it's not OK to judge. You have no idea what's going on in someone else's parenting life. Kids are such wildcards, you never know what you're getting...

But back to your point, I agree, if we all were elbowfeeding, it would be a lot less of a big deal. Of course, unless the elbow were considered an erotic part of the body...then it'd be SCANDAL!!!

[Gerah]

A-MEN to that.