So far, Audrey is textbook "easy baby". It's like she's a computer program with various inputs and outputs and alarms which are for the most part incredibly predictable. When she's got a dirty diaper, she fusses or cries and won't sleep. When she's tired, her eyelids get heavy and she sends clear cues that she's tired. When she's hungry, we know. She wakes up every 2-3 hours overnight but is a deep enough sleeper that we are able to cosleep; eats quickly and goes right back to sleep when she's done, and gets up for the day at 8am at the earliest (and a few times as late as 11!). She still sleeps a lot during the day, sometimes it seems to be as much as 20 hours a day.
We've had a few days of "For god's sake what does she want?!?" -- but surprisingly few. This is nothing like my first six weeks with my son, and not just because I was new at everything that time - he was an entirely different baby. Not colicky, but nothing like this.
As I've been getting to know her and learning her patterns, I've been thinking how lucky we were to have such a mild-mannered babe. And I also realized how incredibly grateful I am that she wasn't my first.
If my first experience as a mother had been to a baby like Audrey, I would have become a completely different mother than I am right now. I wouldn't have understood why moms didn't feel physically well two months after the birth, isn't that long enough to heal? I wouldn't have understood why breastfeeding is such a bitch for so many moms - sure it hurt a fair amount but really it's not that hard, the mom is probably just not trying hard enough (ha ha). I wouldn't have understood why babies scream on planes - why aren't the baby's parents doing a better job calming them? I wouldn't have understood why anyone would put an infant in front of a baby einstein video - why can't you just leave the baby in the bouncy seat? I wouldn't have understood why a new mom can't get out of the house before noon and that doesn't necessarily include a shower, or why so many new moms walk around with spitup all over their shirts because it's not worth the effort to change. I wouldn't have understood that sometimes it doesn't matter how much you try, things just don't work out the way you want them to.
I'm thanking my lucky stars that we are doing well and that this experience has been wonderful so far (knock on wood). I'm also thankful that my son taught me that parenting (while it is a wonderful joy in many, many ways) can also be hellish, that every kid is different, that you can't control everything, that despite your best efforts your child may not always act the way you want, that what works for one may not work for another... and that in the end, all of our kids will probably be just fine, no matter how they were raised.
Audrey sounds like a charmer. You are fortunate--I didn't get an easy baby until my third one. My first was moderately difficult, my second a complete terror (still is), and then, ahhhhhhhhh, happy Laura arrived. She hardly cried as an infant, slept through the night at three months, ate nearly every food I offered her, and potty trained at two with no problems. I often think that if I had her first I'd be convinced I knew all the secrets to motherhood. Instead, I know how much temperament influences children's behavior.
Posted by: Anne | December 17, 2005 at 06:23 PM
I feel the same way--my son is such an easy kid, that I'm thankful I didn't have him first. His big sister is so much more...complicated. I love them both, but I'm never in danger of taking either of them for granted.
Posted by: landismom | December 17, 2005 at 07:20 PM
It's funny how different they are, isn't it?
My first child was difficult, my middle two ridiculously easy, and then my last child was so colicky and hard to handle that I swear, if he had been my first, he would have been my last.
Posted by: jo(e) | December 19, 2005 at 04:52 AM
You are SO fortunate! My first son was a "textbook" baby. All the things the doctor said would/should happen - did. He slept up to 4 hours at night before I had to wake him to eat. He didn't make a sound unless there was something wrong. Once that "something" was fixed.....waa laaa! Happy baby. Now number 2 was a different baby. He laughed at the text book and threw it out the window. He was colic and had reflux and I was LUCKY if he slept for 2 hours at a time (at night). I agree with the previous comment thaat if #2 had been my first, he would have been my last. Congratulations on your little bundle - folds and all!
Posted by: Kendra | December 19, 2005 at 07:11 AM