Reflection of who we once were

This post on blogging baby about one woman's lust for a stroller that would help her maintain her old image of myself set me a-thinkin'.

When I'm out and about with my kid, I do catch myself looking at younger, obviously child-free folks with a twinge of envy. They roam the mall with no apparent "Must be back before toddler is up from nap"-type deadlines. They drink caffeine with abandon, not worried about the risk of not being able to sleep until late and thus being more exhausted than usual when baby wakes you up at 6 the next morning.

It's hard sometimes to not feel jealous, to not wish I could return for a day or a week or a month to when that was what my life was like. But by that same token, I can't help but feel glad that I'm beyond that age. I have a good career with coworkers I respect and whose company I enjoy, a stable marriage, own my own home and while I don't have as many friends as I once had, I have enough to make me laugh and to make laugh in turn. Plus there's this really freakin funny little bundle of energy and cuteness to remind me how fast time passes and not to take things so seriously.

I don't mean to say that those things are goals everyone has or should have, but they were something I had envisioned in my future ten years ago. Reaching each one of those involved a long journey, with a variety of painful stops along the way. Since I'm through them now, I can acknowledge that I learned something important from each of those stops -- yes, even The One That Totally Sucked. And this helps give me the perspective to realize that the next time I hit a painful stop, I can look beyond it to see how "This too shall pass".

And for all I know, those people are looking at my insufferably cute toddler and looking forward to some day when they might have their own.

<snicker>

Suuuuure.

Comments

[chip]

that's funny, I guess I'm at the next stage, where I look at younger couples with babies or little toddlers and feel twinges of jealousy and nostalgia. But then I realize I'm really happy to be at the stage of life where I am now...

[Cynical Mom]

I'm not surprised that it's cyclical. There are so many variations on this theme too, like when I see a mom or dad with a newborn and I think awww, I miss that age where they were soooo cuddly... and then I think how exhausted that person must be and reflect on how I'd been getting 8 hours solid for a while. Well, that's soon to change!