Doula... or not dou-la

I'm mulling over the idea of getting a post-birth doula.

At first I thought about getting a birth doula - because hey, who doesn't want more people to rub your back during labor? - and then as I read the accolades of the various birth doulas around, I realized that I'm never going to find one who's interested in working with me given my complete willingness to *gasp* be drugged.

You'd think I didn't know about the impact that an epidural can have on a newborn, and that if myself and my baby are not 100% snappy and awake seconds after birth, I'm missing out on a critical bonding experience that will forever prevent me from having a meaningful and loving relationship with my child!

So then I started research post-birth doulas, remembering how awful those first few weeks were with no sleep and no support once my husband went back to work and my mom went back to Chicago.

Except that there's all of five post-birth doulas in the state of washington, according to http://www.dona.org, versus the over one hundred birth doulas... and none of them are very close.

Dagnabit.

Really, I don't want a post-birth doula anyway. I want someone to come make me food and keep the baby from screaming while I sleep. So a kangaroo who can cook would be just perfect.

Comments

[Anne]

I had a birth doula and a post-birth doula. The birth doula was worth the money, for me anyway, because after a really awful experience with my first birth I didn't want that epidural needle or any other medical interventions anywhere near me. I used the same doula for my second and third childbirth experiences and really loved it. She wasn't a no-medical-intervention freak but she did give me confidence that I could do without drugs.

But that's irrelevant to what you're talking about. The post-birth doula was terrible--a waste of money. Because I gave birth to my third child in a birth center that didn't allow you to stay overnight, I had to go home to our two-story house on the day I gave birth. Obviously, I wasn't in any shape to be walking up and down stairs and I had two other kids running around so I needed help beyond what my husband could provide. The post-birth doula sat in my room and talked to me for hours on end and didn't do things I asked her to do. I wanted her to take the baby elsewhere so I could sleep and I asked her to set up a baby care station in my room so I didn't have to go up and down stairs to get stuff but she just yammered on about her plans to become a midwife. She was so excited that I'd chosen a midwife-run birth center that she just couldn't leave me alone.

I would look to hire a baby nurse or babysitter instead. Maybe a housekeeper/cook.

[Cynical Mom]

I think you're right, except I have no idea where to look for that kind of help.

[Emily]

Good luck with the baby nurse/sitter hunt. Wish I could help out there but I don't know where to look either.
After I had baby #2 (#1 was 2 yrs old) my husband was able to stay home for 6 weeks to help out. I don't think I could have done it with out his help! Well I couldn't have done it and stayed sane. I totally recommend having someone around to help out at the beginning, it just makes life so much happier for everyone!

[Hannah]

Choosing the right doula is important, of course. Doulas aren't all the same, and postpartum doulas are not supposed to be babysitters (taking over the care of the baby) but helping around the house, supporting breastfeeding, etc. I tool my tasks to meet the needs of the mother and her family. Ask the right questions if you choose to hire a doula. If you need strictly a housekeeper that is definitely valuable help though.

Hh
P.S. Questions to ask might help, if you choose to interview Postpartum doulas:

http://www.dona.org/mothers/how_to_hire_a_doula.php

[kristin]

i know i'm a little late in the game but DONA is only one of many many doula organizations. there's lots of doulas out there that aren't part of DONA. google "post partum doula" + "your area" and you should find lots!