The person who complained about my shipping prices on ebay received the item, weighed it, and felt the need to spend his/her time mailing me to say that the shipping shouldn't have cost as much as it did, the item only weighed X amount, etc etc.
I responded and said I was sorry they were unhappy with the shipping cost, but that it was clearly spelled out in the auction before they bid. I know I shouldn't have, but I added a line about how in the future, I suggest not bidding on an item if the total price of the item doesn't seem reasonable to them. The buyer had already clearly established they were unhappy with the price, but it's not as if I deceived them in any way.
The response:
since you are into making suggestions ..i will also ..dont overcharge decent hard working people because you feel you have to charge more than its honestly costing...i paid it didnt i ?? yep i did so shame on me ...but shame on you ..for charging people pay more than it costs ..you must need the money :( so poor you..boo hoo rude up ? rude back ..dont talk to me like im poor and youre better ..you are by far not ...
Whoa. How did we get into "Are you calling me poor?". I just can't help but feel sorry for this person (which I'm sure he/she would not appreciate), my takeaway from this reaction was that they probably are struggling with money issues and the price differential between the actual shipping cost and the price charged ($1.02 not including cost of materials) is worth more to them than the time they spent bitching at me.
I feel bad... not because I charged more than it cost, but because they were so obviously hurt by this exchange. And I just can't help but feel sorry for someone who appears to be this upset by a dollar and two cents.
If this person had mailed me and said that they wanted to bid on an item (or even after they won it), but money was tight and they really couldn't afford the shipping and asked for a reduced quote, I would probably give it to them for cost. Approaching me from that perspective rather than calling me a cheater is much more likely to win my sympathies. We sold a 3 piece couch set recently that was in fantastic condition, asked $1000. We got an offer for $750 and said no, but in the process of rejecting the offer I learned that the couple bidding were buying their first house and needed to furnish it, and just couldn't afford a higher price, but they loved the couches. Once I learned that, I gave it to them for $750. I clearly remember what it was like in our first house with a seemingly neverending trail of money flowing out of the house and how hard it was to keep expenses under control when you're starting out fresh. The old adage "you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar" certainly works with me.
The adage works with me too. I find it amazing that when it comes to commerce, real estate, or lines at the tollbooth, people can say things that are so rude and venomous.
Love your blog.
Posted by: Emily | July 26, 2005 at 08:25 AM
I would be so tempted to mail that person a check for $1.02, with a statement on the back that said, "By endorsing this check, I am acknowledging that I am so desperate for money that I would send a venomous email to a stranger accusing her of cheating me out of a relative pittance."
But then, I'm not really a very nice person sometimes.
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 26, 2005 at 09:05 PM
Emily: Me too. I just don't get it. I know that I used to be a lot like that, and my cynical/sarcastic side does get the better of me sometimes, but in general I strive to be nice to people as I like people to be nice to me. Crazy stuff, that. Thanks for the compliment.
Elizabeth: Oh my, you are more ballsy than I to even come up with such an idea :-) I'm a wuss. As much as I laughed when I received the email, I also felt hurt. Thin skin. Sometimes I can't figure out how I've made it this far.
Posted by: Cynical | July 26, 2005 at 09:10 PM
Yeah, I used to be thin-skinned like that. Then I went to grad school and took my qualifying exams - that toughened me up a fair bit. Law school finished the job. Now I pretty much either say, "what a pathetic excuse for a person!" and get on with my life, or if I'm really annoyed, I come up with a nasty reply like the above (which I usually don't follow through on - just coming up with the nasty reply often purges the annoyance).
I do think it's actually unlikely that this person is genuinely poor enough for $1.02 to make a difference. People who are really that poor probably look at the shipping and adjust their bid accordingly, instead of taking a chance on guilting you into it after the fact. (Plus, "little craft items" sound more like a luxury good that people don't buy at all if they're that poor.)
Posted by: Elizabeth | July 27, 2005 at 05:03 PM