Will my son's kids have two daddies?

It's well known in my group of close mom friends that I am hoping that my son will turn out to be gay. There are two main reasons:

#1: He's less likely to leave me for a wife/girlfriend/female cohort... that is, only when he's old enough to leave his mother, around age 30.

#2: We have this fantastic staircase in our front hall that would look wonderful for sweeping down on prom night. But it is the way of the world that the boys go to the girls' houses to pick them up, and it's only in the girls' houses that you get the regal descent. So my only hope here is for A) him to be out & dating someone and B) the world is a cool enough place that he can take another guy to the prom.

Of course, you could turn #1 around and say that even in this day and age, daughters grow up and leave their parents but sons stick around. I live 20 minutes away from my parents-in-law, and 2000 miles away from my parents and the rest of my family, and it pains me. So perhaps there are some upsides if he turns out to be straight. But one day he will leave me somehow, and I'm already starting to fret.

On a more serious note, daddychip explains his thoughts on same-sex parents and raises an interesting point, comparing how "traditional gender roles" play a role in homophobia, and comparing that to "traditional gender roles" for fathers, i.e. bringing home the bacon and being the distant discipliner, certainly not the at-home dad or the openly affectionate father:

The issue of committed same-sex relationships does indeed challenge traditional gender roles and stereotypes. But of course any stay-at-home dad is also a direct challenge to this "traditional" definition of gender roles and of parenting. What could be more subversive of that definition than a dad who stays home full time with the kids and a mom who works full time bringing home the paycheck? Do those who claim to be protecting "traditional values" intend to outlaw stay-at-home dads?

...

Gender roles and expectations all too often stand in the way of healthy, happy families. They've prevented dads from expressing their love for their kids in tender ways, from trading off career and status for time with kids.

I have faith that as a society, the US is moving in a direction that is more tolerant of whatever roles, gender or otherwise, that people choose to take.

I was encouraged to read about Daddychip's children's experience, in that they have friends with same-sex parents... that was unheard of when I was a kid, but I am excited by the idea that by the time Jared is in school, that could be just a normal thing - different from his parents, but normal.

On the one hand, I want Jared to make up his own mind on things when he's old enough and form his own opinions based on the information around him. But on the other hand, I really hope that he ends up sharing my views on certain issues such as this one. I'll even let him be a fiscal republican if he wants, as long as he is socially liberal. :-)

Comments

[David]

a) maybe his prom date will have an even better staircase
b) maybe in 16 years the custom will be different (no prom?)
c) maybe in 16 years we'll live somewhere with a better staircase

[chip]

I do think that in a lot of places things are changing for the better on this issue. But on the other hand, I think we've still got a long way to go. All you have to do is read the paper to see the anti-gay voices. And check out landismom's comment on my post that you linked to above. very sad.
As for the staircase, it does sound cool! Maybe if it comes to it you can arrange for a staged regal descent, no matter who takes whom...
Thanks for the link!

[Karen]

Sorry, not to get all sibling competitive on you, but I totally win in the staircase department. I have an idea! Let's have some family member get married and have Jared and Anastasia be junior bridesmaids when they're 16, they can descend our staircase together. :) Plus, mine doesn't have a switchback, which causes you to have to look down and totally ruins that regal descent.

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