Cynical Mom

Good to know

Audrey, while in a particularly enchanting mood: "I bite you all gone!"

Jared, in response: "Audrey you're gonna get a fat tummy if you bite someone all gone!"

Red Robin *finally* publishes nutritional info

I eat there a lot and this has been annoying me for ages that they didn't have it on their website, but they finally added it:

http://www.redrobin.com/home/customizer.aspx

$#%%#$%

I can't wait until the law against using cellphones while driving goes into effect in Washington state.

Tomorrow is Mother's day. It was also a day on which I was planning to run my first half-marathon, which I have been training for for months.

Yesterday I worked out in the morning, and at the end of the day David and I decided to go bike and pick up the kids from school in the trailer to squeeze in an extra workout.

Like most pacific northwesterners, we actually pay attention to street signals and so during the ride there, we patiently waited until we had the WALK sign and right of way on a busy intersection.

When I was halfway across the intersection, an idiot in the right-hand lane pulled out, covering the entire crosswalk, chatting away on a cellphone and not even looking my way.

I braked fast in order to not slam into her car, fell down, and my bike fell on top of me. And in the process, I banged up my knee - which now hurts when I put pressure on it, so I can't @*#$(@#$ run my @#)$@ half marathon anymore.

I couldn't help but think of Frank who finished 65% of a marathon recently...

Argh. Argh. Argh.

Son following in geek mom & dad's footsteps

That's right - Luke Skywalker. Or, as Jared describes it, "LUCK SKY WOKR". Not too freakin' bad for a four year old!

 

"An S the best I can try, R2D2, C3P0, TK-41, and Battle Droid"

 

"Lord Vader" (I really wish he'd stop calling him that, it just creeps me out)

Smart parenting is...

Using stale marshmallows for rewards for peeing in the potty, so that I'm not tempted to eat them myself.

With Jared, it was M&Ms.

This gives me hope that I'm actually getting smarter with each kid, almost as if I've learned something.

OK, but are you going to cover the funeral expenses too?

I said no to something our wonderful little boy wanted deeply, madly, from the bottom of his soul. I don't even remember what it was, it happens so often the instances all kind of morph together in my memory.

He pulled his standard response now that he understands how important love is but hasn't yet realized that using it as a weapon is not destined to lead to a life of happiness: "I definitely don't love you!"

Me: "Well, that makes me feel very sad to hear you say that."

Him: "Well... I'll be sad when you die, though."

I'm probably supposed to be collapsed in a pool of tears at this point because my four year old has declared his lack of love for me, but all I can think is "'though'? Hee-hee it's so much funnier because he said 'though' at the end!".

OK this is really bugging me

Jared calls him "Lord Vader"

 

Please.

 

"Darth Vader" would do, little man.

It's a tie, everybody wins!

Jared: "I don't wanna be your big sister anymore!" <after some minor infraction by Audrey>

Me: "Actually Jared you're a big brother - Audrey's your little sister."

Audrey: "I not little sister! I an AUDWEE!"

Why... thank you.

Jared, pulling at my sleeve tonight trying to get my attention while I'm distracted, trying to catch up on work email:

Me: "Jared, I have to do something on my computer now, but I promise you we will have quality jared & mommy time at bedt..."

and here, he cuts me off and says (imagine this is said in a tone of complete shock as well, to really bring you to the moment):

Jared: "Mommy! You smell gorgeous!"

You can't get away with anything with a four year old in the house

Jared was watching David check email on his phone, and suddenly spouted out:

"Oh you know what? Once, at Safta and Pop-pop's house, Safta said Pop-pop had a stupid email, and HE said he would clear the table in five minutes, but he DIN'T!"